orris√

It is now two millennia since

the Security Seraphims were withdrawn

and the Gates of Eden reopened,

by Jesus, to the General Public.

 

Free Admission

to all children,

(before their parents succeeded

in banning them).

 

Free Passes

to all adults,

who agree to leave their baggage outside

(as strongly recommended by JC),

and have successfully passed

the Camel’s Eye of a Needle Security Check.

(C.E.N.S.C.)

 

This will detect even your bikini

and any other thoughts

left over from heavy addiction

to the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.

 

It is surprising and chastening

how few (excepting children)

have availed themselves of this

Once-in-a-Lifetime opportunity,

especially as it is rapidly approaching

its Expiry Date.

 

Outside the gates

are innumerable camper vans

over-flowing removal lorries

and the charred remains

of dead animals (holy sacrifices and Christmas dinners),

together with a jostling crowd

of fashionably robed Bishops and priests,

some of them artificially bald,

some of them with original designer beards.

 

They are selling genetically modified

original cuttings from the Tree of Knowledge

together with heavily translated instruction manuals,

each with its individual Stamp of Infallibility.

 

These guarantee to give you

instant and privileged entry

(via a back door with a donation box)

into the Garden of Life

(as soon as you are safely dead).

 

Once the Expiry Date is reached

(determined by when Planet Earth

can no longer cope

with man’s inhumanity

to man and nature),

the killings by man

will be replaced with

the cullings of man,

controlled, systematic, cosmic.

 

Then the Gates of Eden

will be closed once more.

Seraphims will be reinstalled

with suicide bombs (pick your own),

and missiles and drones

instead of flaming swords.

 

The discarded cuttings from the Tree of Knowledge

will grow up into a concealing forest

peopled by a race of test-tube originated primates.

 

And God will try again elsewhere.